so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
