This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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