What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
