Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
