Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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