My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
