i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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