thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
