took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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