Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
