Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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