Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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