I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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