I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
