That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
