and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
