I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
