so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
