I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
