Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
