Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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