its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
