dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
