talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
