My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
