My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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