1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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