don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
