Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my shit smells like andre
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Someone signed my nipple.
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