it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
