She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
