We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
