what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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