so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
