I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
