You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
