I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
