I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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