how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
