i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
