dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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