lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
