the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
