Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
