I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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