She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
