We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
