i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
