Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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