I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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