I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
