WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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