I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
