I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
