The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
